Dear Autumn

Dear Autumn:

I see that you are sneaking your way back into my life again. Your subtle hints are showing up every where. And I am loving your presence.

The air is so crisp and fresh in the morning. There are a few colored leaves at my doorstep. My mint plant is slowly dying off and I'm sure parsley will follow right behind it. I see the pumpkins, gourds, and dried corn in the grocery store. I see the local farmers selling tickets to their corn mazes and setting out their pumpkins for sale.

I love that you bring me Pumpkin Spice latte's and pecan pie. I hate that I am on a super strict diet and won't get to enjoy them as much.

I am so ready to see all of the leaves change colors and smell the crispness of the air. I love opening the windows when we are home. And I LOVE getting my electric bill and seeing the lower amount due.

Please stick around for a while. And tell your friends Winter and Snow they are not welcome.

Sept 1st and the skirt

Do you recall the skirt I mentioned a few posts back? I bought a skirt in a size down from what I was wearing. My goal was to be able to wear the skirt comfortably by September. No such luck.

I have stopped taking Alli and started seeing a weight loss doctor. I started seeing him last Wednesday (almost a week ago) and I need to visit him every 2 weeks. I get a B12 shot and 14 pills that will aid me in my weight loss. There is a very strict, boring, and bland diet to follow.

I keep telling myself it's worth it.

Oh yeah, my total weight loss thus far is 7 pounds.

14 days

Saturday marked my 14th day on Alli and the Alli diet plan. I've lost 3 pounds!

Alli and diet

The Alli and diet are working. I lost 1.5lbs in 7 days without exercise. I need to come up with an exercise regiment that I like and stick with it.

Alli works by blocking some of the fat you eat and that fat is released through bowel movements. By using Alli I am forced to look at the labels and see how many grams of fat are in one serving of something. Alli recommends that you keep each meal under 15 grams of fat. Do you know how hard that is for me? I looked at 93/7 ground turkey on Tuesday and that had 12 grams of fat. I paid a ton more money to buy the non-fat ground turkey. I've traded in the ice cream for fat-free sorbet. I've also started freezing bananas (note to you: peel BEFORE freezing) and drizzling a little chocolate syrup on them when I need something "ice creamy". This is hard work. I watch everything I put in my mouth. Did you know that ONE big Reeses cup has like 12 grams of fat in it? Holy cow.

My family and I went to Ledos Pizza for dinner last night. I wanted to get a pizza sooooooooooo bad but I knew there are probably 1,000 grams of fat in one of their pizzas. I opted for the Chicken Parmesan then cut the portion in half. I ate half for dinner and had the rest for lunch today.

Alli can be tricky. If you eat the wrong thing, it will mess your stomach up! I had ONE slice of mushroom-tomato-onion pizza from a medium Papa Johns pie the first week I started Alli. My stomach killed me for 2 days.

I am learning portion control.

I am learning how to eat healthier and be satisfied instead of eating half of a container of cookies.

Am I going to give in every now and then? Sure. And I won't feel guilty doing it as long as I can keep myself on track and not fall back into old habits.

Skirt

I hung a skirt in my closet today. It's a place I visit everyday. I am determined to be able to wear this skirt - comfortably - by September 1st.

Food - the devil and the plan

Weight has been an ongoing battle for me ever since I can remember. I remember being over 200lbs in 6th grade. Yep, you read that right. Then in 8th grade I dropped down to 130ish.

Food is the devil.

Food is my comfort.

I eat when I'm happy, I eat when I'm sad. I don't work out or exercise... yet.

Food is my best friend.

Food is my enemy.

I've definitely got a love-hate relationship with it.

Now here I am, 19 months post partum and I've gained 40lbs. They need to go. I picked up Alli to help me out and to teach me what I can and cannot eat. I've started keeping a food journal.

Small update

I've been furiously running my frugal blog and have totally neglected this blog. Oops.

Anywho, James learned yesterday that he passed his 3rd year final exam. This means he gets a pay raise in September and he goes into his 4th and final year of school. If things go well, he will be taking his elevator mechanics test in September of 2010 and passing it. Then he will get a major raise! Also, word on the street is that his upcoming job location is at NSA. Since that's a Baltimore zone, he will be making Baltimore rate to work up there plus some additional per diem money.

I'm still working at my shitacular insurance job. The job market totally blows right now. I applied for a general manager's position at Applebees but haven't heard back. Actually, I haven't heard back from anywhere that I've applied. So I continue to be miserable and want to cry every day the alarm clock goes off.

I've stopped taking Lexapro.

I've started taking Alli and a rigorious diet plan.

I'm trying the potty training thing again this weekend.

We caught another mouse in the house this morning. So gross. Now I get to disinfect, disinfect, disinfect when I get home. Joy.

I'm waiting for some karma to come around.

Update

Soon, I promise.

Potty Training

Potty training was a failure. It went good from Saturday until Wednesday when she had a complete meltdown. So for now I will wait until she shows signs of readiness again.

Potty Training

I started training my almost-18 month old daughter how to "pee pee on the potty" this weekend. I hope it works. That would be wonderful!

Down

It is amazing how much the sun (or lack thereof) affects my mood. Maybe the Lexapro isn't working out as well as I thought. Maybe I need to stop taking it and see how I feel.

I am so tired of feeling like shit. The number one factor of this feeling is this godforsaken job. The second factor is my weight. I am making an appointment with my primary doctor to talk about it and see what I can do to control it. I know that snacking is a huge problem. I caught myself eating last night out of boredom. I was the only one awake and I was reading. So of course, I was hungry. I ended up eating some cereal but I really wanted ice cream.

Everything is just going wrong lately. We've had a possible septic tank collapse. Just waiting on the final word from the septic company. My car is acting like crap and turned off on Friday when I was sitting still just holding the brake.

Sunshine and then rain

We had a gorgeous weekend with temps soaring into the high 80s and higher. Monday was b-e-a-u-t-iful and Tuesday was beyond perfect. Welcome summer!!!!! On Monday, it was actually warm enough that Alexis took a sprint through the sprinklers (Although, she had no idea what she was doing. It was comical.) when James was watering the lawn. I had no fear that she would be too cold and get sick. It was like 90 degrees out! Alexis and I spent Tuesday evening playing in the sandbox while James lounged in the hammock and watched us play. We probably looked like something from a 1950's family except with better looking clothes and more tattoos and piercings. And the funniest thing was when I picked up a caterpillar and Alexis wanted to hold it. So I put it on her hand and she LOVED it! I totally thought she would freak out.

And here it is - Wednesday. Cold as hell and randomly raining. Shit. We are back to late winter-early spring.

So I guess we will be playing inside tonight. Which is fine. I'm kind of tired of saying "turn around", "that's not your yard", "no, Baxter [the neighbors dog] isn't outside", "don't put that stick in your mouth"... you catch my drift. And playing inside gives me more time to read Breaking Dawn!

Just, like, whatever

I'm so tired of the rain. Are we noticing a trend here?

Well, today is bright and sunny and B-E-A-U-Tiful! And I'm stuck inside at work. It's a catch-22.

For those of you that don't know, I've started a frugal blog. The address is www.savershelley.blogspot.com. Coupon clipping is certainly an addiction. And luckily it helps my bank account instead of destroying it!

That being said, I need to destroy my bank account tonight and buy Alexis some new shoes. But I'll be going to Payless for that. I bought her shoes at Target last time and I think they run really small. There is no way she is fitting into a toddler size 6 already. She just went into size 5 and was in size 4's for months. Her dress shoes fit but her tennis shoes are pretty snug. Maybe I'll get lucky and they will be having some sort of sale.

Tax Day Freebies and Discounts

Some of these may not work in all areas!!!

P.F. Chang's China Bistro: 15% off your bill

T.G.I. Friday's: Spend $15-$25, receive a $5 gift card. Spend more than $25, receive a $10 gift card. Members of the 1,000-outlet chain's frequent-customer program also will get double points.

McCormick & Schmick: A $10.40 entree menu is available, and every taxpayer will receive a $10.40 dinner certificate for a future visit. Get more info here.

Papa John's: Through midnight tonight, consumers can enter "1040" as a promotional code at http://www.papajohns.com for a large, original crust pizza with up to three toppings for just $10.40.

Dunkin Donuts: Dunkin' Donuts is offering all customers a free doughnut with the purchase of any size cup of Dunkin' Donuts' hot coffee.

The McDonald's draw? Buy a Big Mac or a Quarter Pounder with Cheese at regular price, get the second for a penny

Chick-Fil-A: Make a purchase and save your receipt. Bring the receipt back within the next 30 days starting April 16 and you can get the same items free.

Walgreen's: 15 percent off online + contact lens orders. Use coupon code "TAXED." Good though April 20th.

•Free ice cream. MaggieMoo's Ice Cream and Treatery will give away single-scoop servings to customers at 200 stores in what it calls an "e-cone-omic ice cream stimulus package."

•Free sweets. Snack chain Cinnabon will give out Tax Day Bites, free bite-size cinnamon rolls usually known as Classic Bites, from 5 to 8 p.m. at its 700 outlets on tax day.

•Free tacos. At its 275 restaurants in the West, Taco Del Mar will run a promotion: "Taxes Suck. Tacos Don't." People can register at the Taco Del Mar website for an e-mailed coupon for a free tax day taco.

Baltimore area McDonald's will be giving away hot and iced McCafés on April 15th.

Subway - Free Cookie

Cinnabon - Free Classic Bites

A million and one times

I know I've said this a million times, so this is one million and one.

I cannot do this god forsaken job any longer. I am too young to wake up every morning and think "Oh my god, I have go to there again?" I am too young to despise every minute I am here. I am too young to dread every minute in the car on the way to work. I am only 23. I think I have to be like 75 or something to qualify for social security. I cannot do this for another 50+ years. I just can't. It's wearing me down. Come to think of it, this place is wearing everyone down.

I've been job hunting for over a year. I've sent my resume out over 100 times and I have not gotten a single response back. Not one. Do you know how depressing that is? I know it's a tough time for job hunters with the economy being in the pits but damn. I'd hope to have atleast one call back even if it didn't amount to anything. I am currently getting help from a mommy-group friend who works in HR. She's helping me to make my resume better. I'm looking into furthering my education so I will look appealing. I've got an associates degree but it does nothing for me.

I need to decide what I want to be when I grow up. I certainly don't want to be unhappy for the rest of my life.

Frugal

I am on a coupon-clipping frenzy right now. It consumes my evenings. I'm signing up on various coupon websites. And I'm learning to play the CVS Extra Care Bucks game. So far, so good. I'm still getting the hang of it. I thoroughly enjoy watching the cashier ring up my groceries and then watching the total drop after she/he scans my store card and coupons. I've even had a guy in line behind me ask for lessons on how to save money the way I did.

One of my favorite frugal bloggers is Perfectly Provident. She is the money-saving guru.



This is my newest obsession.

Hmpfh

I am starving today. But I'm controlling myself and not pigging out. I need to watch my not-so-girlish figure. I seriously need to lose weight. I just don't even know where to begin.

Talk about slacking

I've been slacking. My bad.

Been down in the dumps lately. My husband was away for 9 days and came home with an attitude. Now he's back to somewhat normal.

Job still sucks. Job hunting is unearthing nothing. Economy sucks. Gas prices suck. Grocery bills suck. Not to mention credit cards.

Friends are awesome. I'd like to thank those near and dear to my heart for always being there for me. For always offering to help or give me a shoulder to lean on.

I've been reading the Twilight series. It took me two weeks to read Twilight. I don't see what the huge hype over the book is. Yes, it was a good read. Yes, it was a good story. But I was able to put it down and walk away from it. I know some people who read the book in a matter of a day or two. Insane. I wish I had that much free time. I'm about 200 pages into New Moon. So far, so good. Much better writing in New Moon. I found myself trying to correct sentence structure errors and grammar in Twilight. I haven't been doing that with New Moon. Maybe it's because I'm into the story more now. Or maybe it's because Stephenie Meyer had a better editor. Or maybe I'm a Jacob fan and not an Edward fan. But I think it's because I know nothing about New Moon. I knew the major highlights of Twilight - girl moves, girl falls in love with vampire, girl gets in trouble, vampire saves her, yada yada yada... I know nothing about New Moon outside of the 200 pages that I've read. I purchased the final two books at Target on Sunday.

I still need to watch the movie. I'm sure it will disappoint the book. But I'll watch it anyway.

After I finish these books, I'll need to find a new series to read. I've read the Stephanie Plum series by Janet Evanovich.

Job

A little background - I've been an employee here for 4 years. The assistant has been here for 3 years. The other employees have been here for 10+ years. Our receptionist was fired back in October. The other assistant left in August because her husband was transferred to England. Neither positions were replaced. So we are two employees short.

Currently - something must be going on with the owner of this company. It's got to be something at home and he comes to work and takes it out on us. He picks up on the smallest things that are wrong and totally escalates them beyond belief. We've got one client who missed a payment and apparently that is our fault. This whole stupid situation has EVERYONE in our department involved. Even though we shouldn't be. This morning he made a comment about "the shit hitting the fan around here". WTF? Like I want to come to work and have you yell at me.

Also, a co-worker has to go out for a minimum of 2 weeks for surgery. She told him on Monday. The first thing he says to her is "When will you be able to work from home?" Not "Are you alright?" or "Are you going to be OK?" or "I'm sorry you have to have surgery."

Last week the owner made a comment about me "making a shitload of money". Um excuse me. I don't make a "shitload" of money. If something was to happen to James, my income would ONLY cover my house payment and truck payment. Nothing else. Not even food or electric. Or insurance. Or anything.

I cannot take the attitude anymore. I would rather work 80 hours a week at McDonalds than work here.

I don't know how much longer me, the assistant, and the other gal who needs surgery is going to make it. It is taking every single thing in me to not walk out of here right now and never look back.

I am fired up.

Rain, rain go away

And don't come back for a long time.

I think it's been raining/snowing/sleeting/freezing rain for the past week. I don't remember the last time I saw the sun shine. It's quite depressing.

On another note, we've switched pediatricians after a horrible visit on Friday. The doctor made me feel like a horrible parent. He told me that Alexis was "aggressive" and "assertive". And she ended up with the Chicken Pox vaccine that I wanted to delay until she was 2. I'm pretty upset with myself over that stupid vaccine.

Husband is still out of town and will return on Sunday. It's been nice having quality time with my daughter and myself. It's nice to be able to eat whatever I want for dinner with no complaints and no extra dishes. It's nice not having socks sit on the living floor for 3 days until I get tired of looking at them and pick them up. Reading without someone asking me a million questions or interrupting me. Good little break. I'll be glad when he gets back though because the trash needs to be taken to the dump.

I feel like I'm forgetting to do something.

Happy St. Patrick's Day! Happy birthday, Nana!