Dear Autumn

Dear Autumn:

I see that you are sneaking your way back into my life again. Your subtle hints are showing up every where. And I am loving your presence.

The air is so crisp and fresh in the morning. There are a few colored leaves at my doorstep. My mint plant is slowly dying off and I'm sure parsley will follow right behind it. I see the pumpkins, gourds, and dried corn in the grocery store. I see the local farmers selling tickets to their corn mazes and setting out their pumpkins for sale.

I love that you bring me Pumpkin Spice latte's and pecan pie. I hate that I am on a super strict diet and won't get to enjoy them as much.

I am so ready to see all of the leaves change colors and smell the crispness of the air. I love opening the windows when we are home. And I LOVE getting my electric bill and seeing the lower amount due.

Please stick around for a while. And tell your friends Winter and Snow they are not welcome.

Sept 1st and the skirt

Do you recall the skirt I mentioned a few posts back? I bought a skirt in a size down from what I was wearing. My goal was to be able to wear the skirt comfortably by September. No such luck.

I have stopped taking Alli and started seeing a weight loss doctor. I started seeing him last Wednesday (almost a week ago) and I need to visit him every 2 weeks. I get a B12 shot and 14 pills that will aid me in my weight loss. There is a very strict, boring, and bland diet to follow.

I keep telling myself it's worth it.

Oh yeah, my total weight loss thus far is 7 pounds.

14 days

Saturday marked my 14th day on Alli and the Alli diet plan. I've lost 3 pounds!

Alli and diet

The Alli and diet are working. I lost 1.5lbs in 7 days without exercise. I need to come up with an exercise regiment that I like and stick with it.

Alli works by blocking some of the fat you eat and that fat is released through bowel movements. By using Alli I am forced to look at the labels and see how many grams of fat are in one serving of something. Alli recommends that you keep each meal under 15 grams of fat. Do you know how hard that is for me? I looked at 93/7 ground turkey on Tuesday and that had 12 grams of fat. I paid a ton more money to buy the non-fat ground turkey. I've traded in the ice cream for fat-free sorbet. I've also started freezing bananas (note to you: peel BEFORE freezing) and drizzling a little chocolate syrup on them when I need something "ice creamy". This is hard work. I watch everything I put in my mouth. Did you know that ONE big Reeses cup has like 12 grams of fat in it? Holy cow.

My family and I went to Ledos Pizza for dinner last night. I wanted to get a pizza sooooooooooo bad but I knew there are probably 1,000 grams of fat in one of their pizzas. I opted for the Chicken Parmesan then cut the portion in half. I ate half for dinner and had the rest for lunch today.

Alli can be tricky. If you eat the wrong thing, it will mess your stomach up! I had ONE slice of mushroom-tomato-onion pizza from a medium Papa Johns pie the first week I started Alli. My stomach killed me for 2 days.

I am learning portion control.

I am learning how to eat healthier and be satisfied instead of eating half of a container of cookies.

Am I going to give in every now and then? Sure. And I won't feel guilty doing it as long as I can keep myself on track and not fall back into old habits.

Skirt

I hung a skirt in my closet today. It's a place I visit everyday. I am determined to be able to wear this skirt - comfortably - by September 1st.

Food - the devil and the plan

Weight has been an ongoing battle for me ever since I can remember. I remember being over 200lbs in 6th grade. Yep, you read that right. Then in 8th grade I dropped down to 130ish.

Food is the devil.

Food is my comfort.

I eat when I'm happy, I eat when I'm sad. I don't work out or exercise... yet.

Food is my best friend.

Food is my enemy.

I've definitely got a love-hate relationship with it.

Now here I am, 19 months post partum and I've gained 40lbs. They need to go. I picked up Alli to help me out and to teach me what I can and cannot eat. I've started keeping a food journal.

Small update

I've been furiously running my frugal blog and have totally neglected this blog. Oops.

Anywho, James learned yesterday that he passed his 3rd year final exam. This means he gets a pay raise in September and he goes into his 4th and final year of school. If things go well, he will be taking his elevator mechanics test in September of 2010 and passing it. Then he will get a major raise! Also, word on the street is that his upcoming job location is at NSA. Since that's a Baltimore zone, he will be making Baltimore rate to work up there plus some additional per diem money.

I'm still working at my shitacular insurance job. The job market totally blows right now. I applied for a general manager's position at Applebees but haven't heard back. Actually, I haven't heard back from anywhere that I've applied. So I continue to be miserable and want to cry every day the alarm clock goes off.

I've stopped taking Lexapro.

I've started taking Alli and a rigorious diet plan.

I'm trying the potty training thing again this weekend.

We caught another mouse in the house this morning. So gross. Now I get to disinfect, disinfect, disinfect when I get home. Joy.

I'm waiting for some karma to come around.